Thursday, October 13, 2016

Past, Present, Future

I decided to take down the entries on this blog. It was never a very cohesive or successful. There is nothing wrong with having a personal blog, but if anything, it became a temptation to vent or try to connect. It's scary to put your real thoughts and feelings out there, and I would rather keep that all close.

Life seems to go by in chapters, and a big cluster of life events happened for me around 3 years ago. When I live in the moment, life feels like progress happens very slowly, but when I look back to only 3 years ago, I can see how dramatically things have changed. I have changed as a person. My circumstances changed for the better. I accomplished a lot, and in the grand scheme of life, 3 years is not actually a very long time.

I feel so much more content with my life than I did 3 years ago, but there is still so much I want to accomplish. People always say that hunger or drive to reach your goals is what keeps us going. If things were too easy, or if everything was handed to us, life might not seem as exciting.

I have very literal dreams about what my future is going to be like. They feel so real, so when I wake up, those dreams follow me around the rest of the day. The only thing is, my dreams have been wrong before. It's not a look into the future, but rather, a look into the hopes you bury deep.

I tell myself, "Things are getting better, but you cannot get everything you want all at one time." I look back on all of the things I accomplished. They all happened at different moments. They were celebrations. Moments when I felt like crying from happiness. Then, I imagined getting everything I always wanted at once. It would feel like, "Oh. Okay. Now what?"

So, I'm excited to see what life brings.